Separation Anxiety. The Struggle Is Real

I never thought Separation Anxiety can last for so long. It’s been 6 months since I returned to work and the guilt of tasking others to temporarily care for my child while I am gone still lingers on a daily basis. It became especially more difficult when little Selina Barbara eventually realized what was happening on her 6^th month. Thinking about it, I’ve always wondered what babies feel every time their carers go out for work or even just for a quick errand. Bearing in mind that I wouldn’t want her to feel stressed or anxious everytime I leave for work, I had to device my quick “ninja moves” every morning. I couldn’t bear seeing the innocent look on my little one every time I walk out the door. *breaks my heart* 

Now that we are nearing our 9^th month mark, I continue looking forward to coming home to see her face light up on my every arrival. I continue to entrust her and her nanny to my mother every morning, and we have developed a routine that does not upset her every time I leave. I would like to believe that she is handling things perfectly, and it is just me who keeps feeling the anxiety within. As a full time working mom, there are days when I wished I could just stay at home with her. At times, depression would rush in while driving to work, leaving me in tears. But at this point, I have to endure the gloom that hovers my morning and remind myself that her papa and I are doing this to secure her of a bright and comfortable future. The love we feel for our children is immeasurable. In fact, no matter how passe it seems, it is true that we will do anything for them -- like bringing them to your company's team building activity because you are exclusively breastfeeding and co-sleeping. #parentingwoes

Company Team Building 2016

Don't grow up too fast my love

Despite the anxiety separation leaves us, it’s also nice to keep a bright perspective on this. Seeing the glass half full rather than empty, I’ve read somewhere that this stage implies that our babies are becoming smarter. They start to remember and recognize things, people, events and ideas. Their clingy behavior is an indicator of how much security they feel with you. In other words, it’s a manifestation of their love for you. Well, this phase is temporary. Once they are old enough to seek independence, they will be glad every time you walk out the door (this we know oh-so-very-well LOL). Taking off from this, the best thing I could do for the meantime is to treasure these moments while it still lasts.

Who could resist this face??

You make my waking hour worth it

They say you could never really spoil your child with love and attention. A fellow parent and friend once told me that they will graduate from these phases at their own pace. At this point, it is but nice to know that there are other mothers/parents in similar situations. We cope in whatever way we can, and our babies do too. I guess what is more important is that we get to kiss and hug them again at the end of every working day. Plus, we have the entire weekends too! Like everything else, this too shall come to pass and we will have another milestone to celebrate for. The Christmas weekend is just around the corner! I can’t wait to spend our first Christmas as a family together!